Not rocket science: The basics of fireworks

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Photo by Al Hoch

Damien McClatchey, 12, makes his selection of fireworks at the American Pride Fireworks stand at the Rock County Job Center parking lot on Center Ave.

JANESVILLE — “Ummm, man like fire,” primitive man said.

“Ummm, gunpowder useful,” his ancestor said several thousand years later.

“Ummm, seems like a good idea to light explosive devices in my backyard, causing burning materials to rain down on my home and those of my neighbors,” modern man says, centuries later.

Modern humans certainly communicate better, but that doesn’t mean they’re any wiser.

We’re talking about fireworks, the magical combination of fire, explosive powder and other fascinating chemicals.

Here’s what you need to know to keep your Fourth of July magical, safe and fun:

Q: What’s legal?

A: Sparklers, stationary cones and fountains, toy snakes, smoke bombs, caps, noisemakers, confetti poppers and anything with less than one-quarter gram of explosive.

Not to worry, Joe and Jane Consumer, you won’t have to read fireworks labels. Stick to reputable stands and stores, and you’ll be fine.

Q: How do I know who’s reputable?

A: Most municipalities require fireworks vendors to be inspected by the local fire department.

Q: What’s not legal?

A: Basically, anything that leaves the ground and/or makes a loud report is illegal.

Q: Examples, please:

A: Firecrackers, wheels, torpedoes, bottle rockets, Roman candles, aerial salutes, M-80s and quarter sticks all are illegal.

Q: Don’t most people know when they have illegal fireworks?

A: “Absolutely,” said Sgt. Brian Donohoue of the Janesville Police Department.

It’s not like people set off M-80s in their front yard where all the neighbors can see.

Q: What about those permits you can buy at the stands?

A: Sorry, doesn’t work anymore. Stands used to sell “memberships” to fireworks organizations. Under the “oversight” of the fireworks organization, buyers could get what they wanted.

Now, only cities, towns and villages can issue permits. Fireworks purchased using such a permit can only be used in the municipality where they were issued.

Q: Can my friend from Illinois come to Wisconsin and buy fireworks that are illegal in Wisconsin but not in Illinois?

A: Nope, sorry, that doesn’t work any more, either. In 2007, Wisconsin’s fireworks laws were changed.

Nonresidents need a permit to buy fireworks in person. Just like residents, they have to get those permits from city, village or town officials.

Now, nonresidents without a permit can order fireworks from Wisconsin wholesalers for out-of-state delivery. The fireworks must be shipped through official means and an approved carrier.

Q: Soooo … where are people getting these illegal fireworks? Not that I need to know for personal reasons or anything.

A: Local officials said that the majority of fireworks vendors and stands are good about following the rules. But there’s a bad apple—a dud dealer—in every bunch. Some people travel out of state for fireworks, or have friends and relations bring the goods to them.

Q: I’m a responsible adult, why can’t I light powerful explosives in my own backyard?

A: Well, it is illegal. Hard to argue with that.

And every year, responsible adults injure themselves and other people with fireworks. They also burn down houses.

Examples from 2007:

-- Fireworks caused a serious house fire on North Chatham Street, Janesville.

At the time, fire Capt. Bill Ruchi said, “We usually have at least one fire, if not more, that’s caused by improper handling of fireworks.”

-- The Beloit Fire Department responded to six significant fires caused by fireworks, said Chief Bradley J. Liggett.

-- A 14-year-old Beloit girl blew her hand off with an illegal firework.

-- A 29-year-old Milton man was transported to University Hospital for injuries to his hands, legs and groin after using illegal fireworks. A groin injury—now there’s an object lesson.

-- A 25-year-old Janesville man was taken to urgent care for injuries to his arms and left leg in the same incident.

And in 2004 ... an exploding toilet injured a 19-year-old Janesville woman after she threw an M-80 firecracker into the bowl.

The young woman told police she had lit the M-80 inside the home because “she just wanted to see what would happen,” the police report said.

The explosion amputated the tip of her middle finger and injured the pad of her left thumb. “Porcelain shrapnel” injured her foot.

Q: Well, I’m too smart to hurt myself. Got any other reasons?

A: The fine for possessing illegal fireworks is $249 for adults and $100 for children. The fine for supplying illegal fireworks to a child can result in a fine of up to $5,000.

Now let’s put on our angry taxpayer hats.

Last year, the Janesville police responded to 305 fireworks complaints, said Deputy Chief David Moore.

In previous years, they’ve responded to as many as 468.

Last year, Moore assigned four additional officers to handle those complaints; this year, even more will be assigned.

It’s no good telling officers not to respond—the public has demanded it, and there are property damage and personnel safety issues.